What brings you joy? Is being in service on your list?
At the recent Uplift festival I listened to a panel of doctors and well being experts talk about true wellness. They told us that they often ask their clients the question "What brings you joy? " We were then asked to note down what brings us joy.
- Walking in the dark when everyone is asleep and the human race appears relaxed calm and at peace.
- Cooking for others especially my beloved and loved ones.
- Dancing on my own and with others.
These were the three that stood out the most to me. The doctors all said that if you pursue the things that bring you joy then self love can be fostered and true wellness can begin. Yesterday in the latest Womankind magazine I read a small article about the work of psychologist Martin Seligman. His findings showed that when he asked his clients what makes them happy and they said hedonistic things that it only brought them moments of happiness but didn't really prolong their happiness.
He also went on to say that when people are interacting with others and are in service then that is when they feel most happy. This subject is one close to my heart as I have spent my whole life in service in one way or the other. As a two year old when my brother was brought home I for some reason thought he was mine and my responsibility so I looked after him well into his late childhood and I loved doing it.
I then spent two and a half decades working as a care giver and a teacher and finally spending three years teaching in a juvenile detention centre. The job that brought me the most joy in the workplace led me to a huge realisation. It was at the end of those three years that I realised why I was teaching there. Even though I absolutely loved being in service and doing my best to help less fortunate people than myself realise how lovable they were, I was avoiding looking at my own needs and my own self love. I moved here to the Byron Bay Shire and could not go on teaching for this fact alone- it was time to look at myself, address my needs and look at my feelings of unworthiness and lack of self love.
In doing so I created a business where I thought I would not really be in service- (ha ha little did I know)- and now feel I am giving and helping others from a more rounded, grounded and loving place. It feels good to be doing one of the things I love most in the world- cooking - and over the last three years be able to teach and help others incorporate more healthy ways of eating into their lives.
So I totally agree that being with others and being in service no matter how large or small it is, does bring you true wellness, happiness and joy. However I feel it is essential to check in to see where you are coming from with being in service. Have you looked at yourself and your own needs? Have you helped yourself ? Do you love your self ? and Does being in service come from your heart and not an avoidance of looking at and caring for yourself?
I would so love to read what brings you joy- what really makes you happy and if you are doing those things and if not how you can incorporate them more in your lives. Please leave your comments below. I love writing these blog posts but I love more than anything to know people have read them and have an opinion on what I am writing, so if you have read this far in the blog please take the time to respond- that is if it feels right for you to do so and is in integrity with the love you have for yourself!!!!
Below I share with you a recipe that not only brings my taste buds absolute joy but also every cell in my body. Hope you enjoy it too.
Silken Tofu Chocolate Mousse
250 g silken tofu (without a doubt it needs to be non gmo and orgnaic
200g dark chocolate
2 tbsp maple syrup
zest of 2 oranges
Melt the chocolate in a bowl set over a saucepan of boiling water. IN a food processor blend the silken tofu with the maple syrup and orange zest until very silky indeed. Once the chocolate is melted pour into the food processor and combine bothethe silken chocolate and chocolate. Place in a bowl and let sit in the fridge, taking it out 30 minutes before eating. Serve with berries and cashew cream (recipe is in both my books).