I dreaded menopause 

When I was a teenager, I started to hear a lot about menopause. On the radio, on the TV, and my mum was about menopause age, she started talking about it and  was worried about it. I secretly hoped it would never happen to me, maybe the world would end before menopause.

It sounded dreadful.

I came to dread menopause. 

I watched my mum have a difficult time, and she went to the doctors for support.

A change in attitude

I started to hear more and more about it, and really thought, what a drag, it sounded intense. Then a friend told me her friend was in menopause and she was loving it. That she felt it didn’t have to be this thing that unhinged you, that it could be an easy time with the right attitude. 

This really got me thinking. I started to read more and more about menopause and how, in many cultures it was revered and a time for celebration. At the time I had 5 rhythms dance as my weekly practice and I read and heard that Gabrielle Roth, the founder of 5 rhythms, likened the rhythm of joy to post-menopause. A time where life became joyous and, small things that bother you no longer bothered you.

I was starting to like the idea of menopause, I knew though, that I wanted to prepare myself for it, there wasn’t a whole lot on offer in the way of courses and further learning.

Then another friend told me, her doctor said she was going through peri-menopause. What the actual F, now there was another part to it that I hadn’t heard of. 

It still didn’t put me off though, I was determined to ride peri-menopause and menopause with the mindset that this wasn’t something to dread, hate and want to change.

Missed peri-menopause 

Looking back now, I realised I missed the whole peri-menopause.  Well, I did  experience it, I was just oblivious that I was in it.

I had become moodier and more irritable,

my periods were still regular,

but I did get plantar fasciitis which, took forever to get over, because I was so focused on the physical and unaware that it is an indication of peri-menopause. 

Then a nurse, who came to do the vegan foundation cooking course, told me about phytoestrogens. This was before I did my nutrition degree, and I started to eat more phytoestrogen-rich food, which I realised must have helped me through the later stages of peri-menopause. 

Menopause hit 

Then one day, out of the blue, it seemed I had just finished a massive day and night of catering for a Deva and Miten retreat, and was sitting with 270 other people, singing along with them all, when, all of a sudden, I broke into a massive sweat. I felt like I was dripping in sweat, but no one else seemed to notice.

This was so unusual for me as, I am not a sweater, I rarely sweat. I was concerned that I was coming down with something, but also really happy to be sweating.

Then, the next week, I felt incredibly hot all the time and I had an excruciating stomach pain where I was literally doubled over. My period was due, but I had never experienced such pain before. I, for sure, thought I was coming down with a virus. But Mak checked my temperature and I was fine.  I did get my period, and that was my second to last period.

When my period didn’t arrive the following month, and I had been having hot sweats during that time, it dawned on me that I was menopausal. 

Instantly I went into an 

oh no reaction 

I am not going to be attractive anymore, I'm never going to be young again, I am officially old.

I am going to get fat.

How am I going to navigate all these hot flushes. 

I will never be able to get pregnant (for goodness sakes I was already 48 and had decided not to have children – why was this all of a sudden a concern) 

And then after three days of these concerns, 

I realised, woo hoo, this could be it – this could mean I wasn’t going to get my period again, I wouldn’t have to carry tampons and menstruation paraphernalia around with me ever again.

Let's get this phytoestrogen list out and enjoy this journey.

I have to be honest though, in that three days of worry, I had been a nightmare to be around, and Mak got the brunt of it. He said to me on one of those days, "I'm not sure if our relationship is going to survive menopause".

I replied, 'good', stormed out of the house, and went and sat by the river for hours on end, thinking how wonderful life would be on my own.

By the time I got home, I arrived home to the most magnificent bunch of flowers. Mak had been on the internet researching what to do when your partner is menopausal. He had found that it is best to be understanding, kind, give them lots of hugs and buy them flowers.

Navigating menopause

The hot flushes seem to happen daily at first, and then they get less. I realised that I needed to give up coffee, as this was not helping at all. So I went about doing that, which was tough, but I did it.

Sleeping was an issue, but I was used to only sleeping 5 hours a night (due to the intensity of catering), so I managed that, but I did take naps where and when I could. 

Then I started to notice when I was getting hot flushes, what brought them on, and I started to make a diary. There was a clear pattern; it was whenever I felt stressed. Whenever I was teaching a course or class and I did a demo and all eyes were on me, I would get a hot flush and it stopped me in my tracks.  After that happened the first time, I realised I couldn’t do that on my own, so the next time it happened, I let all the participants know, I’m having a hot flush. We all took a breath together and it was so much easier for me to navigate.

Whenever I was overthinking anything, a hot flush came on. More meditation was needed. But even in meditation, I would get lost in thought and pronto a hot flush appeared.

Next, I got plantar fasciitis, and it was excruciating. It came soon after my friend died, and continued on for 6 weeks, and none of the physical things I had done for it in the past worked, until it dawned on me that it was a result of menopause. I grabbed the list of phytoestrogen rich foods and took a look at it, I had not been looking at it, as I had thought I was eating lots of them.  What I didn’t realise was that I wasn’t eating them consistently enough.

I consciously ate as many as I could every day and within 3 weeks the plantar fasciitis went away and it has not come back.  Hot sweats became less.

What wasn’t changing, though, was my sleep. I found it hard to stay asleep for more than 2 hours at a time. I had to make sure I didn’t have too many covers on at night, and chamomile tea and Ashwaganda just weren’t working, or I wasn’t consistent enough.

I then decided, I wasn’t going to worry about it. I was just going to catch sleep when I could. So I would have a cat nap at lunch times, and sleep in on weekends.  It worked. I was less irritable, but I had gained weight, which is a result of not enough sleep.

I knew older friends had gained weight in menopause and then lost it post menopause, so I decided I would just have to be a bit chubbier.

Post-menopause

After 5 years of what I would consider a really easy and quite joyous time in menopause, I realised I must be in post-menopause. 

Done and dusted. 

I hadn’t had a hot flush for a very long time and I didn’t have vaginal atrophy anymore. And I had started to sleep better.  It was a fabulous realisation.  I felt really comfortable in myself, even with the extra weight. Sure, I want it to go as I know my body will be healthier without these extra 5 kilos, but I actually am fine with how I look too.

Last year, I all of a sudden got a hot flush, after not having one for well over a year or so, and then another one the very next day – it was quite pleasant actually, and what I realised is that I had eaten refined sugar on both of those days. 

Then I didn’t have another for another year, until recently, when I was super stressed with Mak being in hospital.  

So let's see where to go from here. 

What I love about menopause is being more authentically me, sure not everyone likes that, but that is also ok too. 

Not everyone’s path is the same

This is my path with menopause, but not everyone’s path is the same.

Some people have a way intenser time of menopause. 

But what I feel helped me was; 

my attitude towards menopause- I embraced it, I didn’t want to make it go away, I treated it like a right of passage.

I slowed down- I decreased my workload where I could, so that it didn’t matter if I didn’t have a good sleep. 

I ate heaps of phytoestrogen rich foods. 

I avoided food that caused inflammation;

meat

dairy

eggs

preservatives 

sugar

If you can’t do this, then I really suggest trying to minimalise it.

I did try taking Ashwaganda, but it didn’t seem to have much of an effect, so went down the route of eating as clean as I could, adding foods that would support my menopause journey.

If you would like my menopause fact sheet which has the list of phytoestrogen rich foods you can sign up for it here.

Started facilitating and enjoying a menopause cooking and nutrition course 

To sign up for the complete protein chart 

In 2023, I developed a course called, enjoying menopause cooking and nutrition, for people in any stage of menopause or menopause curious. With the intention that this is an ongoing time of our lives. Once the body stops producing estrogen, we have to provide it with foods that will produce estrogen for it, so that we can have a healthy rest of our lives.  Menopause isn’t a period of life that comes and just stops. We are post menopause until the day we die, and our body needs nutrition and a lifestyle that supports it.

Learning to eat to fully nourish ourselves in this time of our life, which hopefully will go on for decades, is essential.

I don’t want hip pain, plantar fasciitis, brittle bones, or other complications, nor do I want that for anyone else. By choosing food to support our bodies, we can avoid these ailments and live our best lives. 

We are what we eat, was a slogan that I grew up with, and a slogan that I will grow old with.

The course is now more accessible as it is run online. You can do it in person but it is easier doing it from the comfort of your own home. 

To sign up for the complete protein chart https://mailchi.mp/veets.com.au/complete-protein-chart

Click  here to find out the details 

Recipe of the week 

Phytoestrogen rich Jar

½ cup cooked quinoa or black rice 

100g tempeh or tofu fried or baked  (cubed or slices)

Steamed broccoli 

1 pear or tomato or grapes

Sprouts 

Sauerkraut 

Lettuce or rocket

2 tbsp pepitas

¼ cup peanut butter

Juice of 1 lemon

1 tsp ginger grated fine 

1 tbsp tamari or to taste 

1 clove raw or cooked garlic minced

Water to thin

For the dressing, mix all the ingredients together with a fork.

Add the sauce to the bottom of 2 jars,  then the quinoa, tofu, broccoli, sauerkraut, fruit (pear or tomato or grapes), lettuce and sprouts, then pepitas.

Fun Cooking Tip (FCT) 

It’s not really a cooking tip but a tip for menopause – if you like making spreadsheets, until the adding phytoestrogen rich foods becomes second nature, make a spread sheet for all the foods and see how many you can eat in a day or week.

Aim for at least 10 of the foods a day.

Hope you have a wonderful week, and let me know if anything resonated for you in this podcast.

With gratitude Veet